Wicked Weekend
Hello friends. For once I have decided to post something that isn’t entirely about me. That’s right; for the first time ever, I’m going to be selfless! Okay, maybe selfless is a bit much. Lets try less self-centered.
I’m going to re-tell the story of this weekend for those who were not there. If anything, this story will prove that our group is unique because we can have horribly drunk fun without the alcohol. I’m really not sure how this is possible, but we even seem to have fun in potentially disappointing or pathetic situations. You would think that we would get sick of each other when spending an average of about 10 hours at a time together, at least I don’t…
Anyway, the evening started at about 4pm when Steve picked me up from my house. Steve, Jeff, and myself headed to blockbuster and rented The Art of War starring Wesley Snipes (not bad), Some movie about a fat butcher who knows martial arts (didn’t watch it but presumably very bad), and Out for a Kill starring the under whelming Steven Segal (very, very bad!) It was so bad that even we got tired of it and turned it off half way in. To put this in perspective; we have sat through just about every Chuck Norris movie there is! So if we think a movie is bad, it sets a new benchmark. I think the movie was Jeff’s idea (Big surprise there, bah ha ha!)
After renting the movies, we headed to the other Jeff’s house well Steve and Jeff fought about directions like a married couple. Example: Jeff “Wait, Steve! You turned too early” Steve “Well how was I supposed to know that was the wrong turn, I assumed you were going to give directions Mr. Smarty Pants!” Jeff “What, you know the way, we’ve been there like a million times now!” Steve “But I’ve never driven there before Dumb Dumb.” Jeff “Well what were you doing all those times Steve?” etc… It was funny for about 30 seconds, and then it was just cramping my style. Once we got there, we switched to Jeff S’s truck and put on our custom sound track featuring the music from some amazing films such as Team America World Police, Blood Sport, and… Something Else.
Then we went bowling! It was fun because I won all of the games, but we were given one of the worst lanes they had due to renovations in the building. It was 10 pin, we each had 2 alcoholic beverages (The only ones the whole night I swear), played 2 rounds, Jeff S made a comment about by winning at bowling, I'm losing in life (Ha! He’s just jealous), and Steve almost destroyed the machine that re-sets the pins because he just couldn’t wait to make his move (A metaphor perhaps?). After all that, we decided to grab some Wendy’s and some Red Bull energy drinks for each of us before lazer quest. That was a dumb move, even for us, Red Bull and Wendy’s DO NOT MIX.
Despite the Red Bull, we played 3 Iron Man rounds (30 min sessions) and Jeff S. won every single game, as usual (Don’t worry, he’ll loss in Life) But I was just happy that he and Steve managed to beat our new arch-nemesis Ice Man. Don’t let the “cool” name deceive you. He was a greasy, middle-aged, fat bastard that liked to piss everyone off by being cheap and cowardly and think it was funny. Oh, if only he knew who he was dealing with! But yeah, it was great fun shooting people and occasionally betraying my teammates! Even though we were all soaking in sweat by the end.
We then proceeded to Jeff S’s house and watched The Art of War and half of Out for a Kill that I described earlier. However, the best part of the whole evening was our super secret, highly classified operation! But I’ve already said too much! If the other three authorize me to disclose classified information, than I’ll tell you all about it! For now all I can say is that the operation took some dramatic turns but all our secondary objectives were accomplished by 5am.
Thanks for reading, check back soon and I may have more details.
I’m going to re-tell the story of this weekend for those who were not there. If anything, this story will prove that our group is unique because we can have horribly drunk fun without the alcohol. I’m really not sure how this is possible, but we even seem to have fun in potentially disappointing or pathetic situations. You would think that we would get sick of each other when spending an average of about 10 hours at a time together, at least I don’t…
Anyway, the evening started at about 4pm when Steve picked me up from my house. Steve, Jeff, and myself headed to blockbuster and rented The Art of War starring Wesley Snipes (not bad), Some movie about a fat butcher who knows martial arts (didn’t watch it but presumably very bad), and Out for a Kill starring the under whelming Steven Segal (very, very bad!) It was so bad that even we got tired of it and turned it off half way in. To put this in perspective; we have sat through just about every Chuck Norris movie there is! So if we think a movie is bad, it sets a new benchmark. I think the movie was Jeff’s idea (Big surprise there, bah ha ha!)
After renting the movies, we headed to the other Jeff’s house well Steve and Jeff fought about directions like a married couple. Example: Jeff “Wait, Steve! You turned too early” Steve “Well how was I supposed to know that was the wrong turn, I assumed you were going to give directions Mr. Smarty Pants!” Jeff “What, you know the way, we’ve been there like a million times now!” Steve “But I’ve never driven there before Dumb Dumb.” Jeff “Well what were you doing all those times Steve?” etc… It was funny for about 30 seconds, and then it was just cramping my style. Once we got there, we switched to Jeff S’s truck and put on our custom sound track featuring the music from some amazing films such as Team America World Police, Blood Sport, and… Something Else.
Then we went bowling! It was fun because I won all of the games, but we were given one of the worst lanes they had due to renovations in the building. It was 10 pin, we each had 2 alcoholic beverages (The only ones the whole night I swear), played 2 rounds, Jeff S made a comment about by winning at bowling, I'm losing in life (Ha! He’s just jealous), and Steve almost destroyed the machine that re-sets the pins because he just couldn’t wait to make his move (A metaphor perhaps?). After all that, we decided to grab some Wendy’s and some Red Bull energy drinks for each of us before lazer quest. That was a dumb move, even for us, Red Bull and Wendy’s DO NOT MIX.
Despite the Red Bull, we played 3 Iron Man rounds (30 min sessions) and Jeff S. won every single game, as usual (Don’t worry, he’ll loss in Life) But I was just happy that he and Steve managed to beat our new arch-nemesis Ice Man. Don’t let the “cool” name deceive you. He was a greasy, middle-aged, fat bastard that liked to piss everyone off by being cheap and cowardly and think it was funny. Oh, if only he knew who he was dealing with! But yeah, it was great fun shooting people and occasionally betraying my teammates! Even though we were all soaking in sweat by the end.
We then proceeded to Jeff S’s house and watched The Art of War and half of Out for a Kill that I described earlier. However, the best part of the whole evening was our super secret, highly classified operation! But I’ve already said too much! If the other three authorize me to disclose classified information, than I’ll tell you all about it! For now all I can say is that the operation took some dramatic turns but all our secondary objectives were accomplished by 5am.
Thanks for reading, check back soon and I may have more details.
2 Comments:
I hope you all enjoyed this post because I took way more time and effort than I intended writing it. Oh and I guess I should apologize for insulting everyone for the sake of humor without your consent, sorry about that, no really I mean it!
Jeff better get some accompanying photos up quick, or else Duke University is gonna have to make do with one less student than they originally planned.
Billy, if it wasn't for insulting people for the sake of humour, people would think I was mute.
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